The Last Time I Saw My Mother

It was 1978, a sunny, summer Saturday in Nebraska. We spent a quiet morning talking and getting my mom's belongings packed. She had been with us for two or three weeks, I don't remember exactly, but she seldom visited less than two. The whole family would beg her to stay longer, but she had others to see. She loved to visit us, but we didn't have an extra bed, and so she needed to go back home to her own comfort.

The plan was to pick up my friend, Bobby, and drive mom to Omaha where we would drop her at her brother's house, and Bobby and I would spend the rest of the day shopping. Mom's plans were to visit my uncle for a few days, then take a bus to Oklahoma where she was living with my aunt. I was extremely excited, for I never shopped anywhere but Lincoln, where we lived. This was the high point of my day, yet later I would realize that I completely missed out on, and considered trivial, the only moment that was important, and the only one I remember. That's the moment I wish I could take back and relive.

Bobby and I briefly visited with my uncle and my mom, trying not to let our impatience show. We finally said our "good-byes" and we all strolled out the door. My friend and I walked down the steep steps in his front terrace to my van parked on the street. Mom and my uncle stood up on the porch to wave.

And that's the picture that lingers. I opened the door of the van and turned. I looked up to see my mom in a navy blue dress, leaning against the white rail with her hand holding the post of the porch, and her other hand waving. The smile she wore for me was bright and filled with the love she felt. I waved, threw her a kiss, and climbed into the van. We drove away.

My mom teaching our bird to talk.

That was the last moment I saw my mother alive.

Some people get that opportunity to be with their loved one, knowing it's their last moments, and privileged to share it with them. When you know it's coming you can say those words that need to be said. When you know it's the end of their life, you can make those words "I love you" more special. Can't you? Or is that possible? Shouldn't we make those words special every time we say them?

I hear people throw out the words "I love you" as they hang up their phones, or walk out a door. Sometimes you barely hear them if you don't listen closely. I wonder if that passing sentiment would seem good enough should something happen to that person before they see them again. Just a thought.

A popular commitment between those close to one another is to vow to never say good-bye without a kiss and those three words. But let me tell you, when I left my mother I kissed her, lovingly, and I told her that I loved her, more than once. Still, it wasn't enough. I wish I could have her back for just a few moments so I could kiss her and tell her again, over and over. And still..........

Put love in every moment. Don't skimp on it. Shower your special person with it. Touch them lovingly. Hold them close. Make memories of moments of love. Then do it again. 

Because, I can guarantee you, when you look back at it all, it will never be enough.