BI-CENTENNIAL 1976

In 1975 my mom began to get excited about the coming year of celebrating the two hundredth birthday of our country. Mom loved making things for her grandchildren, a pleasure that I also enjoy. Buying a gift for someone is a great treat, but when you have the ability to make something that they will able to keep as a reminder of your love for them, it gives you a special joy. Mom began to plan special gifts for John, Jay and Jill for Christmas presents that would also reflect the bi-centennial occasion.

Lucile Johnson liked surprises, especially when she was the one doing the surprising. She loved having secrets. She would let you know she had a secret, then her eyes would sparkle and her smile lit up her face. Mom was playful and lots of fun, liked to tease and liked to laugh. She had had a tough life of hard work and heartaches, huge losses and not much material worth. But she and my dad laughed together in spite of their troubles.

I caused many disappointments and heartaches for my mother. Once I hurt her feelings unintentionally, but I learned from it and remembered the lesson in later years when my children did or said similar things. Mom surprised us with a visit in May one year to help Grampy and I celebrate our wedding anniversary. We'd only been married a couple of years, and she knew that there were some items needed in the kitchen. Ron was also aware of our needs and had purchased a pretty gold set of pots and pans with Teflon lining inside. It wasn't an expensive set, but we were glad to have it and, as I said, they were pretty.

Mom came bearing gifts as well, and when we opened the large gift that she brought in we discovered a beautiful stainless steel set of pots and pans. What a lovely gift! Except that we had just purchased a set, and my big mistake was to tell her so. Her smile left her face, and she began to replace the pots and pans into the box as they had been packed. I told her that I was so sorry that I hadn't mentioned our purchase, and she said that it was no problem, because she needed new pots and pans anyway and would just keep them for herself. She was so kind and sweet about it, but her disappointment was heartbreaking. Once again I had said something that I would have given anything to have never said. Having two brand new sets of cooking ware wasn't unheard of, if I had only thought before I spoke. I didn't realize until many years later the depth of the hurt of disappointment when your gift is not accepted well. And I had been a very ungrateful daughter.

Her talent of sewing and crocheting was the gift that she used many times for me and for my children, and I was not always the grateful recipient that I should have been if I wasn't totally pleased with what she had made. For the bi-centennial she decided to crochet afghans for her grandchildren. John and Jay received red-white-and blue striped afghans, and for Jill she made a granny square blanket in dark blue and variegated colors. I'm happy to say that the kids loved their gifts and used them for years. I don't know what happened to John's and Jill's, but in his adulthood Jay still has and uses his blanket, and treasures it because of who made it for him. This is not to say that the other two didn't treasure theirs, I just don't know what happened to them.

Children, if you can learn from this story then I will be so pleased. Youth is no excuse for some of the things we do or say, but it is true that much wisdom comes with age, and sometimes we cannot conceive how our flippant words can hurt another. You will do it at times in your life, and you must sincerely apologize, accept forgiveness, then forgive yourselves. But try to remember to guard your tongue so you'll not have regrets.

Now, one more thing. As I write this little story I am sixty-two years of age. When this event took place I was not yet thirty because Mom died when I was thirty. When she died I took the cook ware home and incorporated it into our kitchen, and to this very day I am still using that stainless steel set; I used one of the pots to cook supper tonight, and they look almost as good as the day she bought them. As for the pretty gold set that we purchased, well, they became ugly and worn and bent and had to be thrown away years ago. That is, except for one pan that I use only when I make those delicious no-bake chocolate cookies. They turn out the best in that pan, even though the Teflon was worn away long ago. I must be sure to tell her this when I meet her again in heaven.

What do you suppose happened to all that Teflon that lined that pan?